Family History Form (published Feb 8, 2021)

Line from Sue Miller "I wonder about my future and how the next years will play out also. Aging gracefully is my wish. Will it happen that way is anyone’s guess. If I was to divide my years" Family History Form You know, you go into a doctor’s office for the first time and you always must complete that form on your family medical history. Each time, you sit there thinking about the health of your parents and sometimes even of your grandparents. Each time you sit there you must dig back and think and conjure up any health condition they may have had. Sometimes you not sure as perhaps they never disclosed certain health issues, so you are left surmising. And of course, each time you do a rerun of your life, rather quickly, to come up with hints and clues to the genetic being. Sometimes, you do it rather quickly and sometimes, you are left to wander into your childhood images while sitting in that waiting room. For me, I work back from when my dad died when he was 89 years old. Until he was 80, he was like a horse. Strong and could still move mountains. He fell while on a tour of Washington, DC when he was 80 and was never quite the same after that. His memory was sharp, and he could still function independently but was never quite as strong. I remember they made him take a behind-the-wheel driving test when he was around 87. He worked for weeks on walking erect and not stopping forward which he did by that time. By the day of the test, he stood straighter and passed the test with flying colors. My dad’s mother had cancer when she was 70, had a surgery, and went on to live for another 20 years. My grandfather died before I was born of a ruptured appendix, but no other heart or cancer noted. The appendix always makes me recall my dad’s story of how my dad rushed from Southern California to Kansas City to see his dad before he died but missed by a couple hours. That apparently, he picked up a hitchhiker to help drive but the hitchhiker had an accident and that ended up delaying his arrival. And more stories follow from there. My dad was the oldest of seven children. None had cancer, one had heart issues but lived to 100, one died of Parkinson’s. none had Alzheimer’s. One, my favorite, Uncle Len, shot himself in the head in his driveway not long after he was with me skiing in Lake Tahoe. Stories, more stories flash through my head as I complete the medical form. My mom was not as healthy and still lived to be 72. She had tuberculosis when I was very young but as a young child and into my teens seemed healthy and fine, at least, physically. She played a lot of golf and generally seemed of good health. She did have some back problems at some point, I’m not quite sure when it developed. She had a back surgery in Mexicali, Mexico by a doctor she trusted most. That brings back of the many trips from Los Angeles to Mexicali where my mom got medication for her psoriasis. As the doctor, Enrique Montez, had cured the psoriasis, she trusted him enough to be admitted to a hospital in Mexicali for a delicate back surgery. When I was 19, my mom 64, she suffered a heart attack. It was the day of the Northridge Earthquake, so I remember it well. OK, more memories pop up. Living in an apartment in Encino when the jolt came and looking out the window seeing the water slosh out of the swimming pool. And me going back to sleep without a care in the world as to what had just occurred. And then going to school later that day to register for classes. And feeling a aftershock while sitting on the grass in front of the administration building a few days later. On a on the memories fly of my college day. Okay, better get back to the family history form. Seems my mom’s health deteriorated from her heart attack on for the remaining 8 years of her life. I’m not sure how much was psychosomatic and how much was real. I guess I thought much of it was psychosomatic until she suddenly died. My mom never had cancer, diabetes, a stroke, and her heart attack were apparently mild. No dementia. All good My grandparents on my mom’s side both died when my mom was a child. Thought not totally clear, I believe my grandfather died from inquires in the Second Balkan War and my mom died of the great Influenza. I do know my mom was orphaned by the time she was ten and lived with an Aunt for some time before joining the Burlesque. Sitting in the waiting room, I lapse deeper into family stories about Romania (then Rumania), my mom and her step-sisters (her actual cousins), her getting to America, and stories of my Aunt Bebe and Uncle Dori visits to Los Angeles in the early 1960’s. And my mom had a brother who died in Israel when I was very long and whom I never met. He died of Tuberculosis. Never allowed in America due to his tuberculosis. More stories of my uncle, his wife (by then ex-wife) who came, and my parents visited regularly. And my cousin, much older than me, how has stories bigger than life. No heart issues, cancer, …… more stories, more stories, more stories OK. After sitting there filling out the family history form I again conclude to myself – no cancer, just minor heart issues later in life, no dementia, no diabetes, and no strokes – my family history is clean and I will live a long and healthy life, at least until I’m 80. No promises after that. Oh, one more thing: my parents both had blood vessels on the surface of their skin and both bled very easy as do I. I return the form in exhaustion. Its no easy task to complete one. I have not had to complete one of these forms in the last couple of years. But much has changed. These parents are not my bioparents at all. So, the family medical history I have reported on all of these years is totally inaccurate. My biofather died of a heart issues at a not too old age and my mom died of cancer. I know little details about each. Should I even bother to disclose this information to my doctors when next I visit them. I did to my dermatologist, but she really did not care from a health perspective but loved the adoption story. My regular care is provided at RCMS. I believe I may of updated at my annual checkup but seems it went unnoticed. I’m wondering how quickly I can fill out my family history form the next time I go to a new doctor. Just cut and dry. Not the beautiful memories and effort that went into its completion in years past. Now that I’m in my 70’s and still of good health, I’m not sure if I even want to change my family health history form. I like it the way it was.