THE PACKAGE

 


THE PACKAGE


One day this package just arrived on our doorstep.  It did not look like the customary Amazon package we get at our door many days each month.   It had no return address, and my name was typed on an address label with no logo.  There was no postage on the wrapping and no indication that it was from FedEx, UPS, or any of the other courier services.  Perhaps a neighbor dropped off a gift, but why then the formal typed label?   

The package was rather large and rather heavy.  There was no noise from shaking it so it was wrapped rather tightly.  There clearly was a box inside the wrapping.  My first inclination was to open it immediately but then I decided to wait for Susan in case she knew what it was or ordered it.  Perhaps she had ordered it specifically for me or for some occasion?   Susan arrived back from the market.  She had no idea what it was.  She had not ordered anything.

Susan laughed at the label on the package.  I asked what was so funny?  The last line of the address, after the customary “Manchester, CA 95459” had something added ……  “Planet Earth – E4737-555-aa”.  I had not noticed that last line before.  Funny how I missed something so obvious until now.  It just tweaked my curiosity more.  Surely it was a friend or neighbor making a joke. 

It was time to open the package.  Funny, I could not find any tape or seams to rip to start the process.  Perhaps it was on the bottom.  I flipped the package so that the label was now face down.  Still no obvious seam.  The package sure was perfectly wrapped, I thought.  “Okay, time for the scissors” I told Susan. 

I had to take the sharp tip of the scissors to penetrate the outside paper so I could cut the package open.  I poked the package, and nothing happened.  I moved to a second place, and still nothing happened.  I pushed the point of the scissors harder and harder at the package but could not make a hole to gain access into the package. 

Susan brought the Ginsu knife from the kitchen as it has been used for years to cut through virtually anything.  We bought two Ginsus at the State Fair some 40 years ago and they still prove their worth in gold.  But this time the knife failed me.  No amount was poking, or sawing would give me access to the contents. 

I went to the garage.   The hacksaw.  No, it didn’t work.  A garden saw.  No.  A chisel.  No.  Nothing in the garage would get me access to the contents.  I had run out of ideas.  I was hungry.  I would leave the box opening for after dinner.  Besides, I was too frustrated and upset to think rationally.  A break would do me well.  I could talk to others and come up with a plan.  I left the box and went inside.

After dinner and some wine, I had calmed down.  Susan and I went back outside to study the box and come up with a new plan.  The box was no longer at the front door.  We looked everywhere but the box was no more.  What kind of trick had a neighbor played? 

I called neighbors but no one would fess up.  I was left somewhat humored and somewhat angry at the trick someone had pulled.  More than anything, I was perplexed by the packaging.   

The next day when I went to the mail there was an envelope with “important survey enclosed”, Inside the envelope was a survey.   At the top, thank you ….  Participant  “Planet Earth – E4737-555-aa”.  Please fill out this brief survey on our packaging quality.  At the bottom of the survey …….  “just leave outside by your door, no postage required”  

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