Ancestors (Published Jan 24, 2022)

I spent a lot of time ruminating this week on this theme of talking with my ancestors. This has been a difficult one to write about, who are my ancestors? Seems my ancestors are people I know little or anything about and did not know existed until three years ago. Did they ever cross over and talk to me or give me a sign? And if they ever did, what did they talk about and what advise have they given me. When we drove cross country ten year ago, I was attracted to getting off the interstate in Eastern Pennsylvania to see the Amish Country. We saw the horses and buggies going down the highways with Amish men, looking much like Hassidim, galloping past. Was I attracted to the novelty or was there some internal messaging to see my roots? Or then again, was it because we read about a good brewery just miles off the interstate and wanted to bring special beers we were collecting along the route to our children? I have nothing in common with these people. I feel no certain affinity as a dig down to try and find something. Then again, why did my bio-mother seek out Jewish parents to raise two children she gave up for adoption, first my older half-sister and then two years later, myself. The same Dr Satnick signed both of our birth certificates. I was offered first to my bio-sister’s adopted parents and when they said no, to the parents that raised me. I am left wondering if my bio-mother went through a Jewish adoption agency, or at least a Jewish doctor who connected children with Jewish parents because she saw or felt familiarity between the Jews and the Amish? Did she have that same sense, as unreal as it is, that all Jews dress like the Amish and therefore must be like her ancestors? Did she feel some comfort then of giving us up for adoption to “The Chosen People”? Did she intend this as the link of ancestry? My bio-mother’s name was Emma. My first connection is to אמא, pronounced “ee-mah.” What better name for my recently discovered mom could there be? Maybe there’s some magical connection there. But realizing the Emma and ee-mah are not the same, I dug a bit further in Emma in Hebrew. What is the Hebrew meaning of the Name Emma? Emma’s first etymology would be the Hebrew word “imanu-el” which translates as “God is with Us” Culturally and historically Jews and the Amish have much in common, in that both suffered much persecution in their history, and both have meaningful traditions The Amish are people whose ancestors came mostly from the Rhineland and Southern Germany. They have preserved a spoken form of German called Pennsylvania Dutch. It mostly based on the dialect of the Rhineland. Most American Jews are the descendants of Ashkenazic Jews whose ancestors originally came from the Rhineland and Southern Germany. They have preserved a form of German called Yiddish, which is mostly based on the dialect of the Rhineland. Is there some connection here perhaps? I understand that my mother left her Amish roots pregnant with my sister. She ran away from her roots with a sister, traveling all the way to California, and arriving on New Year’s Eve penniless and still wearing their Amish attire. The story as told by my sister is that when people saw my mom and her sister that New Year’s Eve, people complimented them on their costumes. My mother held onto strong religious reliefs but was never again bound to her Amish background. One reason my bio-brother is so apparently so dismayed by “sudden appearance” is that Emma was so religious and righteous in life but that now is in question, at least by him. So now I am left with this issue of connection to Emma, the mother I never knew. Was her attempt at staying connected come through per pursuit of me having a background she felt so connected us thru history. I am thinking yes. Part of the Shema, Asking God to Send Archangels to Guard You "To God Almighty, the Lord of Israel: May Michael be at my right hand, Gabriel at my left hand, before me Raphael and behind me Uriel, and above me the divine presence of God." Jacob’s Blessing Prayer "May the angel who redeems me from all evil bless the children.