Advise to my 18 year old self (first published 11/9/20)

I’m eighteen.  I’m riding my bicycle on the boardwalk in Santa Monica.  I have just graduated high school last week.  It is a clear day for the beach with lots of sounds coming from screaming children, roller skates with their identifiable hum, and clapping sounds from games beach volleyball.  Suddenly another bicycle bike pulls up from behind me that I had not heard until it was upon me.  Normally someone yells “passing on your left”  but they did not yell.  Instead, they slowly pull up alongside.  I looked left to see a man with a familiar face but I do not quite figure out who he is.  He looks to be about seventy years old.  He speaks to me, his tonal quality and matter of speech strikingly familiar.  He calmly says, let’s stop and sit on that bench over there, I’m the older you and I’ve come to give you some advice.  My first reaction is to try and get away but the face, the voice, and his overall mannerism make me grasp on my handbrake so hard that it almost caused me to flip over the handlebars.  I dismount the bike and follow him to the bench.

Gary, he says, I’ve going to give you some advice on your immediate future.  I will talk and you will listen.  No questions allowed.  


You do not have to go to college near home.  Pick a college in another part of California or even out of State.  College is more than classroom learning.  I got into many good colleges but my parents offered to pay and separate my apartment from their apartment if I went to the State University a few miles from home.  That was such a bad mistake.  I missed most of what I think college is all about.  Living on campus, having roommates, have extracurricular activities, I missed all of that.  I drove to college, took my classes, and left.  I may have gone to one or two fraternity-like events to check them out but that was about it.  I did participate in many demonstrations about the Vietnam War and heard many good speakers, that was great, but for the most part, my college experience was pretty singularly focused on attending classes and not much else.    And don’t be in such a hurry to begin college if you want to take a year or two to find yourself.  That is OK.  I felt I had to go directly from high school to college and think I would have enjoyed having a couple of years of wandering and exploring.  


With that, my older self got up and rode away.  That must be very important to him to stop me the way he did.

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