The Black Sheep (Published Feb 7, 2022)
The Black Sheep
I have been going through old slides and converting them to digital format. I recently sent some digitized ones out to one of my cousins. The picture was of my cousin Barbara Ann and her son Randy when they visited us in Sacramento many years ago. Randy looks to be around ten in the pictures. Looking at the pictures brought back memories of them and their family.
Barbara Ann was my favorite cousin growing up, she was a year older than me and we used to play together at all of the family gatherings. She lived relatively close, and we saw my uncle, aunt, and the family often. My dad’s brother, my Uncle Len, was in partners with my dad in the miniature golf business. At some point soon after I was born, they split the miniature golf business and my dad and my uncle Len each owned two. A third brother, Uncle Charles, wanted out of the business entirely. The idea of the partnership sprung up during World War II. Uncle Len and Uncle Charles both flew bombers in Europe during the war. My dad worked in a shipyard, being older than his brothers he was not called up to military service. In letters back and forth during the war, the three talked of opening a business together after the war. Not sure how or why it ended up being the miniature golf course business.
My Uncle Len got married to my Aunt Melva when I was around five years old. Aunt Melva’s first husband had been shot down and killed during the Korean war. Uncle Len was the president of the Veterans of Foreign Wars and met Melva at one of their functions. I believe my uncle had flown with Melva’s first husband during World War II.
Barbara Ann was born after her father had been shot down and never met her father. Uncle Len is the only father she ever knew. Barbara Ann and I were the first to connect when Uncle Len introduced Melva to the family. From that first day, we played together and enjoyed each other’s company. My Uncle Len and Aunt Melva went on to have two sons after they were married, and Barbara Ann spent lots of time at our house when the two boys were born and even later into her teenage years as her brother, also named Randy, was born with severe Developmental Disabilities and my uncle and aunt took care of him on their own through his teen years, not wanting him institutionalized. I know that all took a toll on Barbara, who never seemed happy as an adult. Additionally, Aunt Melva had Cystic Fibrosis, the disorder ultimately took her life.
After I emailed that picture of Barbara Ann and Randy to Barbara Ann’s brother, my cousin Rick, I asked if he still had contact with Randy. Rick wrote back to say that he would never let his children associate with Randy and he had not seen Randy in years.
When my cousin Barbara Ann died of cystic fibrosis some twenty-five years ago, I attended her funeral in Southern California. Sadly, there were very few of us at the funeral. The most memorable part of the funeral was seeing a squad car come rolling up the road and a teenage boy getting out, shacked, and handcuffed. He was escorted from the car, up the hill, to his mother’s gravesite. He stood quietly as his mother’s casket was lowered next to her mother, and next to her father, who had shot himself in the family driveway not too long before. As we all walked away. Randy was left alone, the officers in the distance. I can still see Randy standing there so very still and with tears rolling from his eyes.
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I will never forget you. I met you in Little League and we were the best of friends.I tried my hardest to be there for you. We worked together at least for a few months when I got you a job at Ralphs in Glendale. I remember the oldies concert we went to and all that crazy stuff went down. I remember picking you up a couple of times when you got out to go to the neighborhood. That club we went to in North Hollywood when they maced everyone. I remember your Mom and calling her when I had problems with girls or we were fighting. All of us called your Mom. Barbara was our therapist. There is just so much. I remember one birthday when you were turning 12 me and my Dad took you to Footlocker and bought you the Reebok Pumps. I remember when we played on NH, New Horizons, in little league and you used to pitch and hit everyone. I remember going to the arcade across the street from the mall on Brand Blvd. I remember just kickn it with you me and Dre up in Sunland and her always calling me "lame." Man I wish I could have attended your service. I wish things were different and the outcome was not this. I know you are with your Mom and she is talking crap to you but holding you and hugging you at the same time. I remember that night we were driving and it was raining and we got out of the car talking crap to each other and you ended up hugging me and said I was your true friend and that you loved me and I said I love you too. You were my friend and my homie and deep down although we went our separate ways you still and always will be my friend and homie. Rest in peace Randy I love you. Matt, Mattie T, your "Cousin"
Posted by: Matt - Glendale, CA - Friend Feb 25, 2015
I love you Randy. You were my best friend and I wish I would have kept up with you. You and Barbara were very good to me. Rest in Peace brother. Can anybody please let me know how he passed. I am heartbroken he was a very good person.
Posted by: Juan Manuel Arizon - Lancaster, CA - Friend Jan 03, 2015
My friend, I will always remember and cherish our memories. YYou and your mother were always there for me..you were a brother to me. ..I am privileged to have met you and to have been a part of your life..your smile and laugh will forever live on in my heart...you will be missed but never forgotten! !! Until we meet again, I love bro!!
Posted by: Jennifer Garcia - Compton, CA - childhood friend Dec 28, 2014
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